The single hottest moment on True Blood. Ever.

Seriously. I may have drooled a little. In my opinion, Eric needs to glamour
Alcide on a regular basis.

So, there's this little thing I like to do on Facebook occasionally, and like a lot of my little quirks on FB, part of the reason I decided to blog is to bring this off FB into a more long-winded-friendly environment.

I know, lucky you.

So anyway, here it goes.

Last night's episode was called "Hopeless." Thing is, it was the best episode of the season so far (well, okay, the premiere with Pam and her Wal-Mart sweatsuit were awesome too, but I digress). Like, stuff HAPPENED. Constantly! It was a nice change.

So, my random thoughts on "Hopeless":



EPISODE HOTNESS -- 9.5 out of 10
Eric healing, then glamouring, Alcide was the single hottest moment on this show. EVER. Maybe I think that because I personally don't really find Anna Paquin super-attractive (particularly as a blond) and her best sex scenes were with Bill, who I also do not find attractive. And Sookie-Baby Eric sex? Meh. You can go ahead and rule out anything with Tara or Sam Merlotte (together or separate). Jason Stackhouse doesn't do it for me. The only potentially hotter moment might be if Jessica and Alcide -- okay or Jessica and Eric -- were to hook up. But whatever, that hasn't happened, so THIS MOMENT (see photo) -- hottest TB every. Way hotter because they're both so straight alpha male. I mean, the sex appeal...meters broke, my friends. Meters broke.

In the same vein, here's my ranking, by hotness, of the guys on True Blood:

1. Alcide
2. Eric
3. Terry Bellefleur
4. blah blah blah (yeah, I know there are other guys, but I don't care and this is my list.)

Terry is both hot and adorable. That is hard, people!

Also, Eric and Terry are kinda interchangeable week-by-week, hotness-wise. And if you don't think Terry Bellefleur is insanely hot, you just aren't looking at him right. Because he is. 

And when he had to come to Merlotte's and tell Arlene he was leaving, he was just so tortured and in love and in pain and you know what? That's hot. Sorry, but it is. 

I hate the whole fire-monster story line. I hate the asshole sergeant. I love Terry, and I love Terry and Arlene together. 

All in all, while there wasn't a great quantity of hotness moments, the quality was unparalleled. That's why "Hopeless" gets a 9.5 out of 10 on my TB Hotness Scale.

EPISODE SILLINESS -- 4 out of 10

To me, True Blood silliness is a good thing. And be assured, I mean SILLINESS, not STUPIDNESS. Fire monster = stupid. Jason in He-Man PJs = silly. See the distinction?

This episode was a little light on silly, but that's okay, it worked here. We did have gyrating fairies, which always bumps up the silly quotient, and of course, when Sookie immediately worked out what Eric had done to make Alcide recoil at her touch. I'm tough on Sookie, but that was pretty great. I would have been crazy-irritated if that had become a subplot, which I do NOT put past TB's writers. So yeah. Dodged a bullet there.

Also, apparently every fairy can dance like mad. Which I find silly. Along with their flexibility and the proliferation of feathers.

INTERESTINGNESS -- 7 out of 10
This is one of the first episodes since the premiere where I've been like, "Wha? It's over already?" Was the whole "it was Salome, not Nora" thing a surprise? Um, no. Not even remotely. And all the people getting devoured? Again, totally saw that one coming. Wasn't feeling the loyalty of Spartacus-Vampire Authority Dude. (reeeeeally need to come up with a more clever name for him. yeah.)

I mean, now that I think about it, there weren't really a lot of surprises. But it still held my attention and was entertaining. That is probably because there was minimal Tara (THANK YOU!) and minimal fire-demon-eefreet thing.

OVERALL AWESOMENESS -- 6 out of 10
Lafayette went to see his mama, which is always awesome not just because she is Alfre Woodard but because she is awesome. (It's circular. Let it go.) I love that she pronounces Jesus' name like Gee-zus. I love that she calls Lafayette "Lala." And I love that we found out the reason she's crazy is because she sees dead people, just like Lala. Love Lala. Love Ruby Jean. Love. Awesome.

Russell went bazonkers at the end and killed Christopher Meloni (!), which was again, not unexpected, but nonetheless Russell-awesome.

Pam dragged Tara away by her hair. Awesome.

Sam went doggie in human-mode and shot the racist, evil hate-store dude. Awesome.

We also got baby wolf. Unfortunately, she went to nasty-daddy-mama. Half-Awesome?

So...were you pissed to the hilt that Meloni got busted...you know, like a balloon? A bloody balloon? Do you agree with me about Terry? Thoughts?